Sayonara wa Mirai no Hajimari
by MysticHakai24
Summary: Hiei has left, seemingly forever, never to visit his kitsune again. And inside Kurama is crumbling. How long will it be until he cracks? And now Hiei's whole thoughts about leaving. No major shounen-ai. Rating changed due to Hiei's mouth. R
1. Sayonara wa Mirai no Hajimari

Yu Yu Hakusho:  
Mystichakai24  
Disclaimer: I do not own any Yu Yu Hakusho characters. This is only a fanfic.  
Sayonara wa Mirai no Hajimari  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Yorusora ga hiraku koro  
  
Matataku ake no hoshi  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
It was unusually cold out. Perhaps it was because of the temperature, thirty degrees, and I was wearing no sweater. Or it could just be that Hiei has left.for good. Whatever the reason, everything seemed much gloomier and- and I can't help notice that even the might is teasing me with its bright stars. Shining brightly - laughing at me.  
  
What am I thinking? I guess even my mental health feels lonely with out Hiei. I guess I never understood how much I needed him besides me, day and night, like a helpless child. Like Hiei would say: Baka Kitsune.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Yami ni ikite 'ta ore no kokoro ni  
  
Tomotta yume no you sa  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
I can still hear those harsh words: "I'm leaving, don't contact me.again."  
  
Was Hiei ever really my friend? Have I been simply in my own imagination? Thinking that Hiei cared.if only a bit?  
  
No.  
  
He left.  
  
And it hurt.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
----------wasurenai.  
  
Tozasareta kono mune wo aketa kimi wo  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
"Leave my memories behind.I don't want to remember you, I don't want you to remember me. Forget me."  
  
Hiei - How could I forget you? I've known you for so long, we have been such good friends. Like Yusuke-kun and Kuwabara-kun. You tell me to forget you.but I can't. I won't. My soul has been bound to yours. Now I have forgotten how.to leave you be.  
  
I was always a worrier. I was concerned for everyone, the Urameshi Team, my mother, my step-brother and step-father.you.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Kyou no sayonara wa mirai no hajimari  
  
Yuku michi ga ima wa betsu to shite mo  
  
Tsuku basho wa hitotsu...  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Okay. So you left me. You went for Mukuro instead. I don't care. I shouldn't care.  
  
But I do.  
  
I sometimes am saddened, knowing that we are now separated. You being with Mukuro as one of the greatest demons in Makai. And I, a former Youko, am stuck on Earth with Ningen everywhere. I like humans, but I love you.  
  
And I still grieve.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Deatta koto sae mo  
  
Kiseki to yobeba ii  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
About days after your last words, I was walking to school. It was early and I was just pacing slowly while.thinking about you. Your words. You.  
  
Then I heard the sound. It was very quick like when the wind is pressured and you suddenly hear whish! Whish!  
  
I looked up and saw nothing. Then I heard it again and looked up. A black blur appeared and was gone. My first thoughts, well, you know. But now, three weeks later, I call it a miracle if you had truly followed me to school like the old days.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Tomo ni hashitta tsukihi wo subete  
  
Hokori ni dekiru kara  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
That's right. The old days. We would be with each other at all times, side by side, head to head. That was even before we met Yusuke-kun or Gouki. You watched for me and I watched for you. Even 'Kaasan noticed my sudden change of happiness.  
  
The thing was, back then, we had no troubles. We never wondered if we were going the next match, or if we were going to be able to rescue Keiko or Yukina on time. We just worried about normal stuff, you know, when the ice cream (sweet snow) truck would be coming. Things like that - common everyday stuff.  
  
Not anymore.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
----------arukidasu.  
  
Kono mune no kienu hoshi tsurete iku yo  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Your words still haunt me. I go out sometimes, just to catch something so that the next day I wouldn't have time or the health to think about it. But, it does hurt. My heart can still be heard ripping.  
  
I'm just a coward.  
  
I cannot deal with words. And they say that actions speak louder than words. Well, both hurt. Your words, then your leaving me.  
  
The only way I deal now is by putting a mask. It's been a long time since it happened. But time cannot heal this. Yusuke-kun surely noticed something. He's been asking me. But I just smile and say it's nothing.  
  
Is that cowardly or courage?  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Kitto sayonara wa piriodo ja nai sa  
  
Eien no saka wo nobotte yukeba  
  
Kimi to mata aeru...  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
The gang has noticed you disappearance too. Especially Yukina. They're asking me about it. And each time I hear the question, I crumble all over again.  
  
I say you're on a mission for Mukuro and it might take a while. They don't believe me. I know they do not. They say okay and leave me be, but they don't trust me. I'm a lying failure. After everybody found out, they say you'll come back.  
  
Now I don't believe them.  
  
I only wish they weren't lying.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Kyou no sayonara wa mirai no hajimari  
  
Kokoro nara ore wa soba ni iru sa  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
I sometimes still think you never left. That you still talk to me and walk with me. But my imagination is not fantastic. Every time I think that, I see your face. Then I break again.  
  
But at least you're beside me.  
  
.in my mind.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Kitto sayonara wa piriodo ja nai sa  
  
Yuku michi ga ima wa betsu to shite mo  
  
Tsuku basho wa hitotsu  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Rinnnnng!  
  
I walk home from school, I ignore everybody talking to me. It's rude. But it has now been exactly one month since I last saw you. I guess you weren't lying.  
  
Somehow, it takes forever to get home. But when I finally get there, my mother had left for a doctor's appointment.  
  
Now there is no comfort for me.  
  
Perhaps I am taking this too seriously.  
  
But if my instincts are correct, I could never have survived this far without you. Even if it's all only a memory now.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sou sa Sayonara wa subete no hajimari  
  
Dare mo mina tabi no tochuu dakara  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
My room is clean, without any smell, any strange look. I hate that. If you were here, your cloak would be on the ground, my table would be littered with ice cream jars.  
  
But the thing is, you're not here.  
  
Then I saw it.  
  
Something stood in front of me.  
  
It was a person. He had spiky black hair with a white star in the center, an adorable pout, black clothing, and glaring ruby eyes.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sou sa Sayonara wa piriodo ja nai sa  
  
Eien no saka wo nobotte yukeba  
  
Itsu ka mata aeru...  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
I get up and take the picture out of its frame.  
  
Hiei.  
  
I await the day you come.  
  
.and we meet again.  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
OWARI  
The translations:  
  
When the night skies open  
  
The bright stars twinkle  
  
I've been living in the dark  
  
Like a piercing dream in my mind  
  
----------I shall not forget.  
  
You, by whom this closed heart has been opened  
  
Today's goodbye is the beginning of tomorrow  
  
Even if we take separate paths now  
  
We shall arrive at the same place...  
  
Even if we had ran into each other  
  
Call it a miracle  
  
For we can be proud of all the days  
  
We ran together  
  
----------I shall walk.  
  
Taking the never-fading star of this heart  
  
Surely a goodbye is not a period  
  
If I go on and climb the everlasting hill  
  
I shall meet you again...  
  
Today's goodbye is the beginning of tomorrow  
  
If in my mind, I shall be beside you  
  
Surely a goodbye is not a period  
  
Even if we take separate paths now  
  
we shall arrive at one place...  
  
That is so A goodbye is the beginning of everything  
  
Because anyone, everyone is in the middle of a journey  
  
That is so A goodbye is not a period  
  
If I go on and climb the everlasting hill  
  
Someday we shall meet...  
How was that? I feel sad for writing it. I LOVE the song though. If you want a sequel, please do it loud and clear in a review.  
  
Only if I get a good number of reviews will make a sequel. Sankyuu! ^_^ 


	2. Tasogare ni Se wo Mukete

Yu Yu Hakusho:  
  
Tasogare ni Se wo Mukete  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ah... machikado nagareru hitonami ni ima sakarau you ni  
  
aruite'ku hitori  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was one of those days, usually each day, which I get pissed off at Mukuro. It's bad for me to defy one of the great Makai rulers. But I'm tired of listening to her as if I had nothing better to do! Just today, she told me to survey the territory and then to later accompany her to Yomi's. As if I wanted to see the six-eared freak in the first place.  
  
So instead, I walk off. I wonder if she noticed. Perhaps. I do this almost each day. But she doesn't mind. Not yet anyway. Oh well.  
  
Now I'm walking through the streets of her land. Demons of all kinds are shoving past, talking with each other. But I am alone, no one talks to me. But I'm glad for that. There is no one in Makai intelligent enough to talk to anyway. Maybe except Yusuke. He's okay.  
  
One demon pushed me and yelled at me in the Makai tongue. I grunt back at him, "Screw you!" He stares at me confused. I love seeing that face. I'm very pissed so I wack him. His head falls and I feel much better. The Ningen tongue has grown on me.because of Kurama.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
tooi hibi miushinatta  
  
taisetsu na ano egao wo  
  
mune ni kizande  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hm, Kurama. Ah, I remember now. He's the damn human who never stopped smiling for us. At least, almost never stopped smiling. When I left him, his mouth jerked down and tears welled. Like I said, I love that look. I'm no heartless bastard, but I'm no mushy person like Kurama.  
  
You know, I actually cannot remember that smile he gave me each day. I forgot him long ago. My heart is ice again.  
  
That's a good thing.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never give up kanashimi ni  
  
kokoro wo tamesarete mo  
  
ikutsumono toki wo koe  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Perhaps he thinks that we're still friends. Yeah, we had those times. We talked, ate together, had sad times, maybe chuckled a bit. But that's gone now. My life is all fighting and blood. There's no fun for me.  
  
I don't miss that fun.  
  
All right, maybe the talking was comforting. So his cooking was good. The laughter was kind of funny. We were a bit concerned. What am I saying?  
  
I'm starting to miss it.miss Kurama.  
  
I'll get over it. Just like when I first left.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never give up kaze no naka  
  
tasogare ni se wo mukete  
  
doko made mo tadoru no sa  
  
Lonely Way  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The clouds are moving. The sun's sinking. I look up. I have walked to a plain covered by rose bushes. Damn path. Now I have to be reminded of him. Even if Mukuro does let me take off, I'll still have to go with her to Yomi's. That means I better cool off.  
  
Kurama used to help me calm down. I don't mean he used some weird physics stuff. I mean HE calmed me down. Just being there with me. So, I'll think about him before I run back to Mukuro and have her yell at me.  
  
Let's see.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ah... dareka no yasashisa ni omowazu  
  
kooeta kimochi ga  
  
yureta sono toki mo  
  
hitomi toji tada tsubuyaku  
  
nukumori wa sou ore ni wa  
  
niawanai yo to  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I remember the day I left. It's so clear now. It smelled like this exactly, like the damn rosebushes. I hate being so poetic, but it's eerie. The day had started with him coming back from school. Kurama had a bunch of books on his desk when I came in through the window.  
  
He smiled at me. I grunted. That's how it is with the two of us. No, that's how it used to be.  
  
He was talking to me, still grinning like an idiot. When he finally stopped for me to answer a question about sweet snow, I told him:  
  
"I'm leaving, don't contact me.again." He stared and was speechless. "Leave my memories behind.I don't want to remember you, I don't want you to remember me. Forget me."  
  
Then I left.  
  
But he was so gentle; no one was like that to me. The girls were all afraid of me. Except Yukina, of course. All the others treated me like trash or some kind of heartless youkai.  
  
Hn. I'm not worthy of love or gentleness. That was proven a few hundred of years ago. Then.why? Why, Kurama?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never give up yume dake wo  
  
ima wa dakishime nagara  
  
unmei ni michibikare  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
But it's not like I want any of those human traits anyway. All I need are my strategic skills, my Kokuruyuha, my blade, and good shelter. That is the only reason I am cooperating with that bitch Mukuro.  
  
Being kind will not help me slay demons. It will not help me dominate.  
  
It's a weakness.  
  
And that's all.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never give up ate mo naku  
  
tasogare ni se wo mukete  
  
mirai e to arukidasu  
  
Lonely Way  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
All the demons in Makai are like that. We all want to become a powerful dictator. So I cannot help but say this: I do not need Kurama.  
  
I'm turning my back on him.  
  
I have only my destiny. Fate has brought me this. I must walk toward the path whose light at the end of the tunnel shines only for me. So no more foxes. No more baka kitsune.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never give up kanashimi ni  
  
kokoro wo tamesarete mo  
  
ikutsumono toki wo koe  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yomi's palace is so extremely dull. I'm bored. I don't care for some strange anniversary about some stupid great-great-grandfather guy who I never heard of.  
  
Yomi comes up to me, seeing I'm so bored leaning against his curtains, I guess. "Hiei," he says with mirth, "Please, join me for a drink."  
  
"No," I reply simply. He's not worth my breath.  
  
"'Kay. So.seen Kurama lately?" Yomi grinned. I ignore him. Was he some kind of mind-reader? "I know where he is, he's here."  
  
"Where?" I ask, trying to sound uninterested.  
  
"In my bed," he answers.  
  
"Really," I say, hiding my surprise and shock.  
  
"Actually, I'm kidding." Yomi smirked.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never give up kaze no naka  
  
tasogare ni se wo mukete  
  
doko made mo tadoru no sa  
  
Lonely Way  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I walk away and he waves. Brainless git. He will never understand: I don't care for Kurama anymore! He's gone, out of my life.  
  
I am only in life for the pleasure of cruelty and blood. I suppose I'm becoming what Kurama wanted me to never become. But who cares! Baka kitsune.  
  
I walk outside, trying to get away from all the idiotic people. As I walk to the door, Yusuke comes from nowhere, holding a glass of sake and smacking me on the back. "'lo Hiei!" he says rather drunk. "How ya doin'? I've just been, you know, busy lately and.woo." He fell.  
  
I sigh and pick him up and lie him against the walls. It's the least I can do for someone like Yusuke. He's a good kid, sometimes. But I don't want him dying when I haven't beat him in a fight yet. Then I go to the door.  
  
It's cool outside: just like how I'm feeling. I shut my eyes. Then I let out a large breath of air. I turn sideways. And I open my eyes again.  
  
There was some ruby red, emerald green before me.  
  
Damn roses! They appear everywhere! They remind me of.Kurama. Still, after a whole month. Wow.  
  
I want to rip them out and burn them until there are none left.  
  
But I can't.  
  
Perhaps because.they are a reminiscent of that stupid fox.  
  
.of Kurama.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
OWARI  
  
__________________________________  
  
The Translations:  
  
Ah... Waves of people flow through the city streets. Now, as if to defy them, I walk alone. That precious smile that I lost sight of long ago is fading in my heart Never give up, even when your heart is tested by sorrow. Overcome all those times. Never give up. Amidst the wind, Turn your back to the twilight. It will take you anywhere. Lonely way. Ah... Even when your frozen feelings are unexpectedly shaken by someone's gentleness, close your eyes and just mutter that warmth doesn't suit you. Never give up. Now, while holding nothing but your dreams, let fate guide you. Never give up. Without expectation, turn your back to the twilight. Walk towards the future. Lonely Way. Never give up, even when your heart is tested by sorrow. Overcome all those times. Never give up. Amidst the wind, Turn your back to the twilight. It will take you anywhere. Lonely way.  
  
Well, there's the sequel. Sorry if it contains almost no feelings of Hiei to Kurama, but I tried to keep him in character. VERY in character. :) Hiei didn't run off to Mukuro 'cause he loved her. YUCK! It's just for the, well, didn't you read the story already?  
  
Want another chapter? REVIEW! And, uh, suggestions? I don't want to make it too mushy when they do meet again in *THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS!* hint, hint  
  
One more thing, if you see a title called "So We Meet Again", that might be this. And (wow, so many ands!) please read my other titles and tell me which of my Yu Yu Hakusho stories I should continue most. Sankyuu!  
  
* 


End file.
